Shaken

So this week I was prompted by my poetry professor to write a political/pop culture poem. I have a tendency to write political poems but for some reason, it was terribly difficult to do this on demand! Usually, I don't intend to write something that is political, it just comes out that way. So I forced it this week and it just felt wrong and my poem did not go over as well as I would have liked it to in workshop.

What I really feel bad about is that a classmate announced that the chapbook he put together will be published. I am really happy for him. I am. But my stomach dropped and my mood totally changed and I totally turned his good news against myself. Suddenly, I felt like I wasn't good enough.

The truth is...I'm not. Not yet. I recognize this and that's why I study and read and write regularly and nearly every piece I write is better than the last. I will get there. I wish I was there already is the thing that upsets me. My time will come. Yeah, I can keep spouting all the positive affirmations in the world to myself but the truth is...I'm ready for a yes. So I have to keep putting myself out there to create more opportunities for people to tell me yes.